Friday, February 17, 2023

Friday Letters


Today I'm taking my virtual fountain pen in hand to write a few Friday letters. It's been a while, but I've learned you can't force Friday letters. Let's open the mail ...

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To the victim of this heinous crime,

I hope that the ongoing investigation has yielded a satisfactory outcome and that these three known criminals are safely behind bars. To suffer the loss of half a box of Fruity Pebbles, a half gallon of milk, and half a loaf of bread is truly a tragedy and I hope these miscreants have been apprehended, you have been adequately compensated for your losses, and your Fruity Pebbles are now stored under lock and key.

Sincerely,
A fan of Fruity Pebbles

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Dear Joby Pool,

I often read and listen to NPR for their in-depth reporting, but I think they have been guilty of sloppy journalism in reporting your story. I have questions and since they weren't answered by NPR, I would like to ask you. The first of these is why? Secondly, why did you steal a whole semi-truck full of so many eggs? Thirdly, what were you going to do with them? I have been known to buy a Cadbury egg or two at Easter time but never from a stranger off the back of a truck. Lastly, did you at least eat a few yourself? I do hope so and hope that the court goes easy on you.

Wondering,
A Cadbury egg fan

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Dear Paediatric Health Professionals.

You are true medical heroes! To take an important medical question like "How long does it take for a small ingested object to pass through a child's digestive system?" and subject yourselves to swallowing Lego heads to reach a scientific answer is indeed valuable medical research (and I mean that sincerely). I love how you took the question, designed the experiment, standardized your measurements, and wrote and submitted it to the Journal of Paediatrics and Child Health. This is a wonderful story and parents everywhere can be reassured since you have done the research. 

Sincerely,
Someone who feels sorry for Patient B

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Here's wishing a wonderful weekend for all of you!

10 comments:

  1. I saw the story about the creme eggs and sent it to my husband, telling him that were it not for the location and name of the perpetrator, I would have suspected him!

    As to the criminal trespass victim, have the police checked to see if she sleepwalks and didn't in fact ingest the missing food herself?

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  2. Another great batch of letters! I hope they enjoyed their ill gotten fruity pebbles!

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  3. These letters should come with a warning to avoid coffee ingestion whilst reading! Oh.My.Gosh! I am dying. (I missed the Cadbury Egg story, but what on earth!)

    I chuckled at Sarah's Fruity Pebbles thought... Now, I am off to clean my monitor! Happy Friday!

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  4. oh my!! The fruity pebbles is priceless but how very unsettling to have strangers in your house!!

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  5. Do you think Joby Pool . . . also has a thing for Fruity Pebbles? Thanks so much for opening your letter bag, Bonny. Always, always a treat! XO

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  6. I'm more of a Froot Loops girl myself and as for the Cadbury Eggs ...................well, no great loss there. Although punishment is needed. Maybe they should make him EAT all those eggs (after he has paid for them, of course).

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  7. These are great! I don't know if I laughed more at the Fruity Pebbles theft or the Cadbury Egg theft!

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    1. I was amused all week by these stories! Glad you liked them, Debbie!

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  8. ha! I laughed more about the legos "experiment" and Bonny's closing comment :-)

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  9. Thank you for the smiles. It's good to start the weekend off with a light heart.

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Thank you for visiting and taking the time to comment! :-)