Friday, February 17, 2023

Friday Letters


Today I'm taking my virtual fountain pen in hand to write a few Friday letters. It's been a while, but I've learned you can't force Friday letters. Let's open the mail ...

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To the victim of this heinous crime,

I hope that the ongoing investigation has yielded a satisfactory outcome and that these three known criminals are safely behind bars. To suffer the loss of half a box of Fruity Pebbles, a half gallon of milk, and half a loaf of bread is truly a tragedy and I hope these miscreants have been apprehended, you have been adequately compensated for your losses, and your Fruity Pebbles are now stored under lock and key.

Sincerely,
A fan of Fruity Pebbles

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Dear Joby Pool,

I often read and listen to NPR for their in-depth reporting, but I think they have been guilty of sloppy journalism in reporting your story. I have questions and since they weren't answered by NPR, I would like to ask you. The first of these is why? Secondly, why did you steal a whole semi-truck full of so many eggs? Thirdly, what were you going to do with them? I have been known to buy a Cadbury egg or two at Easter time but never from a stranger off the back of a truck. Lastly, did you at least eat a few yourself? I do hope so and hope that the court goes easy on you.

Wondering,
A Cadbury egg fan

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Dear Paediatric Health Professionals.

You are true medical heroes! To take an important medical question like "How long does it take for a small ingested object to pass through a child's digestive system?" and subject yourselves to swallowing Lego heads to reach a scientific answer is indeed valuable medical research (and I mean that sincerely). I love how you took the question, designed the experiment, standardized your measurements, and wrote and submitted it to the Journal of Paediatrics and Child Health. This is a wonderful story and parents everywhere can be reassured since you have done the research. 

Sincerely,
Someone who feels sorry for Patient B

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Here's wishing a wonderful weekend for all of you!

9 comments:

  1. I saw the story about the creme eggs and sent it to my husband, telling him that were it not for the location and name of the perpetrator, I would have suspected him!

    As to the criminal trespass victim, have the police checked to see if she sleepwalks and didn't in fact ingest the missing food herself?

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  2. Another great batch of letters! I hope they enjoyed their ill gotten fruity pebbles!

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  3. These letters should come with a warning to avoid coffee ingestion whilst reading! Oh.My.Gosh! I am dying. (I missed the Cadbury Egg story, but what on earth!)

    I chuckled at Sarah's Fruity Pebbles thought... Now, I am off to clean my monitor! Happy Friday!

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  4. oh my!! The fruity pebbles is priceless but how very unsettling to have strangers in your house!!

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  5. Do you think Joby Pool . . . also has a thing for Fruity Pebbles? Thanks so much for opening your letter bag, Bonny. Always, always a treat! XO

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  6. These are great! I don't know if I laughed more at the Fruity Pebbles theft or the Cadbury Egg theft!

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    1. I was amused all week by these stories! Glad you liked them, Debbie!

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  7. ha! I laughed more about the legos "experiment" and Bonny's closing comment :-)

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  8. Thank you for the smiles. It's good to start the weekend off with a light heart.

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Thank you for visiting and taking the time to comment! :-)