I've written a few Friday letters, so let's see what's in the mailbag today.
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Dear John,
You asked me to get some caulk when I was at Home Depot for water softener salt, but did you know there are literally more than 30 different kinds of caulk? I read lots of labels and learned that there is latex caulk, silicone sealant, polyurethane foam, and specialty caulks like butyl-rubber caulk, and the Nose Bond that made me laugh. There are different colors, white, and clear, along with regular and fast-drying, interior and exterior. You didn't say what you would be using it for, so I didn't get any. I think you might be in charge of getting your own caulk so it's what you want.
Sincerely,
Your Wife, Confused About Caulk
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Dear Home Depot,
I like to think that I know a little bit about lots of things, but I have to admit that I don't have a single clue what this thing might be for, even after I carefully read all the words on the box. Chain Tilting Bull Float Bracket? For multi-angle floating? For use with all magnesium bull float blades? Are you sure you didn't make this label with a random word generator? It turns out that this has something to do with pouring concrete. "Bull floating is performed on freshly poured concrete during the initial finishing process before surface water, called bleed water, appears. Floating with a hand or power float is a final finishing procedure performed after the bleed water has dried." Hmm ... good to know!
From,
A Confused (once again) Customer
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Dear Future Bonny,
Make sure you give yourself a pat on the back in January or February next year when you have hyacinth bulbs to force. You've forgotten to buy them for the past three years and they are always out of stock when it's forcing time. You'll have hyacinths in winter next year and the house will smell lovely.
P.S. And don't forget that you put them in the downstairs refrigerator to chill.
From,
A momentarily wise Bonny in August 2022
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Dear LMR (our recycling and trash company),
I just noticed this slogan on the back of the recycling truck last week. Really? I don't think that's exactly how recycling works. Please feel free to contact me if you need help coming up with a better slogan.
Signed,
A customer that thinks and also puts cardboard, paper, glass, plastic, and metal into the recycling bin
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Wishing you all a good long weekend!
More terrific letters this week and I learned some new things, too! LOL
ReplyDeleteWhen my kids were young and we'd be at our cabin up north, we would, inevitably, need to make a trip to town to pick something up at the local Ace Hardware. (We bribed the kids with ice cream.) To entertain themselves (while waiting for the ice cream), they used to wander the aisles, looking for the most ridiculous hardware store item of the day. While they found some real doozies, they never located a chain tilting bull float bracket. Which is a travesty.
ReplyDeleteI love your letters, Bonny, and I thank you for opening your mailbag to us. :-)
I am laughing... hard at these. (BUT!! I do indeed know the use for a Bull Float... thanks to my Grandpa John who was a builder of homes... that Bull Float has a vital job for just poured concrete (but it seems that it is missing some parts ... i.e. a handle and the "float" portion of the apparatus, LOL)
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your mailbag goodies with us! XO
I suppose every field has its specialized vocabulary, and like you, construction is a language I don't speak! I'm glad you've decided to let John buy his own caulk and came home with hyacinth bulbs instead.
ReplyDeleteOh hyacinth bulbs!! Great idea. Everything else made me laugh out loud. Nose Bond? Priceless. Have a great holiday weekend Bonny
ReplyDeleteThank for starting my day off with a laugh! My brother manages an Ace Hardware store and I'm going to ask him about that bull float thing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder that now is the time to buy some bulbs.
Hope you have a great weekend
I hope your brother can give you a better explanation for that bull float thing than Google could provide! I have patted myself on the back several times for buying hyacinth bulbs. Have a wonderful long weekend, Debbie!
DeleteHome depot (or similar shops) can be so confusing! Nose bond, so funny. Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing that the HD employees usually seem to know something, and like someone commented further up, "If you don't know what it IS, you probably don't need it!" Hope your weekend is terrific!
DeleteAlways love Friday letters, Bonny. I find innumerable things at HD and Lowe's that are totally foreign to me. But, then I remember that other people can't read a medical chart, so I guess it just depends on your fields of expertise. Speaking of grout, I had that experience recently myself. I needed to find some sanded grout, and it was a true adventure. Thanks for the reminder about buying bulbs! BTW, I will trying again to sow milkweed seeds late winter. I was not successful last winter/spring, but I have not given up.
ReplyDeleteGreat letters as always. I love your sense of humor. Honestly, we've been shopping for a bathroom remodel at Lowes and I feel like I'm in a foreign land. You know a heck of a lot more than I do about all the stuff. And, good call to send your husband for the caulking. I'd bring home the wrong kind for sure.
ReplyDeleteI love the slogan, interesting!! Hardware stores have some many interesting things that I never knew existed - still not a fan to shop there, I'd rather be in a yarn store.
ReplyDelete