Friday, June 29, 2018

Why Y?

I'm not the author; I just love that there is another Bonny Becker out there.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I miss both of you, and especially when I have questions that I wish I had asked you. Lately I've been wondering why "y" instead of "ie"?

I do remember asking you why you chose to spell my name with a "y" instead of the more common "ie" sometime when I was around 10 years old. You told me that you wanted my name to be special and original, like me. That lovely answer certainly satisfied me, and I still remember it 50 years later. I remember Grandpa singing " My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean" to me and telling me that it was my own special song. (That Bonnie is actually spelled with an "ie", but I couldn't distinguish the spelling while Grandpa was singing.)

So overall, I've been happy with my name, despite the month or two when I was five that I begged you to call me Diane, and the fact that I could never find pencils, key chains, or those plastic license plates meant for bikes at Spencer Gifts because my name was spelled differently.

But lately it's caused some issues. I worked with a woman for eight years, and she never did spell my name correctly even though I corrected her quite a few times. It's a small thing, but I still felt demeaned and less than. I guess the problem was with her and not me, but now it's the bank's refusal and my problem. We applied for a loan, and the spelling of my name has caused ridiculous complications. The first time we tried to close on the loan, my name was spelled "Bonnie" on all the documents. When I pointed out this error, we weren't able to close for five days while the loan department printed a new set of documents. On the second attempt at closing, I stared, dumbfounded, at the new documents printed with "Bonnie Y. Becker". Someone in the loan department had been told "It's a "y"", so that's what they did. Another week later, we tried again. This time the loan documents were printed correctly, but they made me sign them as "Bonnie Becker aka Bonny Becker". At this point, I didn't care, but was dumbfounded again that so many people steadfastly refused to believe that you had chosen "y" instead of "ie", even while they were staring at my birth certificate.

I wish I understood how and why you chose "y", but thank you for making me feel original and special. If only the rest of the world would pay attention to that small but important detail, then I would really feel special!

She not only has a lovely name, she writes great books, too!

15 comments:

  1. Beautiful! I confess to slipping and misspelling your name more than once, but never once have I said I was sorry. I am, deeply. Getting someones name right means that you care and validate them as an individual person. Thank you for posting this... and for the new-to-me Bonny Becker books!

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  2. Our names are SO important. I love your parents' reasoning for your name. Some day I will tell you why I am not Robin Michelle (the name my parents chose for me).

    Those books look so cute, especially the cover for the "bear" one.

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  3. Maybe you should start carrying those books around with you and when some nitwit, like the bank nitwits, seems unable to get the point, you can give them a book and say here you go, spelled just like the world-famous author.

    Does it seem like the people in this world are getting dumber by the week?? I'm sorry you had this stupid hassle. And yes, that is an adorable cover for the Bear book.

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    1. Carrying the books with me would definitely make an impression and maybe that would make them remember! I don't expect everyone to know how to spell my name, but the bank had every piece of my personal identification, so I had hoped for a little more attention to detail. Their solution "Bonnie (wrong spelling) aka Bonny (correct spelling)" was especially ludicrous!

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  4. Yikes! People are not only more dumb by the second, but more rude, more obnoxious, etc., etc. I do love your Grandpa singing to you - so sweet. And those books by the "other" Bonny Becker look great!

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  5. OMG my head would have blown off after try #1 with the loan dopes. And I love that your name is spelled Bonny!

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  6. I had a friend in school who was Bonny, not Bonnie and I'm a Debbie not a Debby. I've had trouble with people misspelling my given name, they always want to spell it Debra instead of Deborah and even though I spell it out, I've had documents that had to be corrected. I think people are in such a hurry that they don't listen and think.

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  7. Oh, man. My mother changed the spelling of her name when she was in junior high, I think, from Margery, which she thought inelegant, to Marjorie (much more sophisticated, non?) She got through a year or so of college, getting married, having babies, getting divorced, going to college again, opening her own bank accounts, getting a loan, buying a house, etc., etc., etc. It wasn't until she needed a passport to go on a college-sponsored trip to Russia in 1974 that she hit a snag and had to legally change the spelling of her name!!

    My name is always misspelled -- -ie or -y -- and I'm especially floored when it happens on social media (I'm looking at you, FB) when my name is RIGHT THERE!

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  8. I love the Y in Bonny!! I dont care if people call me Cathy or Kathy or Katie or Kathleen . BUt i draw the line at Katherine. I am a Kathleen!

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    1. After I wrote the post, I started to think about bloggers' and friends' names, and realized that there are lots of people that have the same misspelling issues - Kat's name gets spelled with a C, Carole's without an e, and I bet Kym and Margene hardly ever get the right spelling the first few times. Mary might be one of the few people that rarely has a spelling issue with her name. And you've got many variations! Thanks, Kathy with a K, definitely not Katherine!

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  9. As a K-Y-M-not-K-I-M I get it. Oh, do I get it.
    :-)

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  10. I love the memory of your Grandfather singing to you. How fun you found another Bonny Becker in the world. The books look darling. I hope you get the paperwork straightened out without too much difficulty.

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  11. Marc's sisters (yes, his SISTERS) still mis-spell his name (MarK ... it makes me crazy!) ... and our Sara (no H) can relate, too. But I don't think either of them have encountered the issues you have with those loan documents. YIKES! (I have this book https://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Crocodile-Nancy-Pearls-Rediscoveries/dp/1503936104 ... highly recommend!)

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  12. Yes, as you mentioned, my name is almost always misspelled. Marjean is far more common. I've had similar problems, BonnY with a Y. I have known several other Bonny's (my step-grandmother for one) so your name didn't seem unusual. Banks (of all entities) should know to check documents! I was in the securities business and we double checked EVERY name and number on a document twice.

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  13. All the Bonnys I knew spelled with a 'y', maybe it's a western pa thing :) My first name was always spelled correctly but my maiden name was 11 letters long and oh so Polish...that was quite a hot mess.

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