Tuesday, May 7, 2019

We've Reached the End

A favorite photo of my father and sister

I'm home in NJ this week for something I've been waiting for, but now that it's almost here I wouldn't mind stalling it for a while longer. After 17 months, hundreds of hours, and lots of legal mumbo-jumbo, we've reached the end, and it's time for the final distribution of assets from my father's estate. His was not a big estate, and it's certainly not a lot of money, but he does seem to have made it more complicated, leaving small sums to grandchildren and minor great-grandchildren. I do feel good that as executrix (that is a funny word that still amuses me!) I was able to carry out his wishes, even if I might have handled things differently myself.

I'm writing out a bunch of checks at the lawyer's office on Wednesday, signing letters and assorted other paperwork, and then we're done. I've wished for this day for at least 16 months, but now that it's almost here, it involves another bit of letting go that is a little sad. I won't miss him any more or less, but it just feels like the last tangible piece of him will be gone somehow. I don't mean to be maudlin, but just wanted to mark the occasion by saying goodbye Dad, I love you, and thank you.

14 comments:

  1. Having done this for my father I understand a bit of what you're feeling. It's all part of the process and I hope it brings you peace even as you cope with an extra dose of sadness.

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  2. Sending much love and support your way today, Bonny. XO
    (And that is a great picture!)

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  3. When we received the last check from my mother's estate, that's when it struck me as the most not fair.

    Take care.

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  4. How generous of your father to remember everyone of his progeny in his will. You are fulfilling his last wish and that is a lovely accomplishment.

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  5. I haven't had to do this myself (yet -- I'm sure the day will come), but I can absolutely understand why your feelings would be mixed. On the one hand, it's the end of a complicated and time-consuming process and is surely a relief. But on the other, I expect there's a sense of finality to it that must be a little sad. Sending you love.

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  6. What a great picture!! I do know what you mean...it took some time for my Dad's estate to be settled (luckily none of us had to do that), but when it's done, it's done. There is a certain finality to it that is a bit sad. Sending you plenty of hugs.

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  7. I think each step brings sadness, especially the last one. Take time to remember the happy memories today and maybe look at a few more pictures that will bring a smile to your face. xo

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  8. My dad made it very easy as he left a living trust, and I only had to show it to everyone to liquidate his estate. But that did not make it any happier, so I certainly understand the sadness. The most important part of your dad that will continue to exist is in your memory and heart, Bonny, and you won't lose any of that by finally liquidating his assets. You will just be distributing the final bits of his worldly goods to those he loved. It is a heartache and a lot of work, but it is also an honor. I hope you find peace in the process.

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  9. It'll be nice to remember your dad without the "mumbo-jumbo" feelings of this task! I hope it all goes smoothly. Cheers, Bonny!

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  10. I bet it is bittersweet! I'm glad you are seeing and end and I'm sad that this last bit of tethering to your dad is over.

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  11. I so remember closing up my father's estate six months or so after his death. It is a bittersweet moment indeed. Hugs to you as this chapter closes.

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  12. I know these past months have been a mix of ups and downs. You've handled all of it with grace and good humor. I'm sure your dad is grateful for all of it. Hugs!

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  13. Sending you love and peace, Bonny.

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