Today I'm going to complain less and tell you why my heart is now filled with gratitude. Something happened last week, and while I hate cryptic posts, I can't talk about the details of this story. Let's just say it was a BIG DEAL, big enough that I had to call a CPA and meet with the lawyer to make sure that what had been done was not unlawful or illegal. It was not, just dishonest, unscrupulous, and I would call it immoral. It was too big for me to even be angry, but I was shocked to my very core (and I don't mean that in a funny or hyperbolic way.)
I talked to John and Justin about it, and they helped me to calm down a bit. I've been trying hard to put it out of my mind, calm down, not obsess or be bitter, and maybe even begin to let go. Then Ryan called last night, and I was compelled to describe the situation and ask his opinion. That's where my gratitude begins.
He listened intently, broke down the situation into its parts, explained what he saw as the problems (multiple lies of omission, duplicity, underhandedness, and subterfuge), and agreed that my feelings were completely valid. The older I get, the more shades of gray I can see, so I don't always feel that I am right. Even though Ryan is my not-impartial son, it still felt wonderful to have him explain logically why I was right this time. This led us to further discussion about clear thinking, correct conclusions, and confidence. It was a fascinating chat, and he even helped me see some humor in the whole thing.
I'm very happy that now when I think about what happened, I'm reminded that I am so lucky to have a son who will talk with me for 135 minutes (and 23 seconds!) and the hurt I felt is no longer top in my mind. What I now have is a heart overflowing with gratitude for Ryan, his clear thinking, and for 135 minutes of his caring conversation.
I'm sorry for what you're dealing with - but love your post and I'm so glad you could have that LONG conversation with Ryan ... and feel a little better about all of it. (also, I love that photo of him - I've got to imagine it makes you smile whenever you see a call come in from hime :-)
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry that this problem has consumed so much of your time, but I agree with you - the gratitude that my children bring to surprising moments of my day (the good, and yes the not so very good) are such precious moments. It is nice to reach the point that problems can be shared both ways.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post, Bonny!
A listening, sympathetic ear - especially one who can break down the situation, clearly recognize the problems, help you see that you are (indeed) right, AND infuse humor - is a gift to be grateful for! And when it is your son, well. That is a life-bonus that can't be measured.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're having to go through what sounds like a truly awful situation. XOXO
It stinks that you've had something disturbing happen but, like everyone else, I echo the fact that having Ryan listen and help you sort through your feelings is a wonderful thing. You found the silver lining!
ReplyDeleteI love that you took that screen shot! Sorry that you were so shaken by what happened, but very happy that you have people like Ryan to help parse it out. Best to you.
ReplyDeleteListening to the whole story and giving understandable and helpful input is such a rare gift. Once again, you've gleaned what you sowed from your caring and wonderful son.
ReplyDeleteYou are a fortunate Mom (and your children/adults are fortunate as well). So glad that Ryan could and did talk with you and help you see the situation clearly (with a touch of humor). I'm so sorry for whatever it is you are having to deal with/go thru. Sending all best wishes your way.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, yep, those cryptic moments come up now and then, they are around to make sure of oneself and one’s clarity of mind. It definitely helped you to talk-it-out it seems, good! It’s like when a song keeps repeating in your head and it won’t go away. (My most recent advice - do not go see ‘Mama-Mia’, you won’t find clarity for 24hours.)
ReplyDeleteAren’t friends (even if they are relatives) just the most wonderfully available people in the world to bounce off of, no matter how upset you are?
I had a professor that use to tell us that with clear thinking and clear writing we would always be right. I'm not sure that is always true, but sometimes the situation is too big and deep to think clearly; I'm so grateful that Ryan was able and willing to inject clarity into the situation. And thanks for the warning about Mamma Mia; I don't need anything else interfering with my thought processes right now!
DeleteI'm so sorry you've had something awful to deal with, but the goodness and kindness of your son to listen and help you see things more clearly is a gift beyond measure! Wishing you well!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post and I'm so happy that he was able to get to the root of it all and work it (sort of...) out for you. Anger is a pretty heavy bag to carry around so if he's lightened the load that is wonderful. Here's to this thing all resolving itself as. it. should. xo
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for the frustration and uncovering dishonesty is never fun but how wonderful to have your son listen so well.
ReplyDeleteLife is often infuriating and frustrating and just hurtful. But you are so lucky, Bonny, and I am glad you realize it. What a precious relationship to have with a grown child. It's an unusual attribute in son, and one that anyone would treasure. Hooray for you! And Ryan!
ReplyDeleteYou have raised a fine young man. I love it when these grown children are so kind and compassionate. Hope for the world.
ReplyDeleteYour son sounds awesome! My son has a gift of making me see something that I have overlooked or hadn't thought about. I continually joke that my son will be the one who is completely empathetic to me about how a nursing home might miss treat me and my daughter is the one who would scare the crap out of the admin to make the changes necessary that I am well taken care of :) They all have unique gifts. She is quite vocal and confrontational when she is adamant. (does not get this from me AT ALL)
ReplyDeleteso sorry that something bad happened :(
You are very rich, my friend. What a great story. I'm so glad you shared it!
ReplyDeleteThat is priceless. Then thinking back on the conversation will give you even more smiles.
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