Tuesday, October 22, 2019

And Then Your Gutter Bracket Breaks

We used to live next door to a 94-year-old woman named Josie. She had been widowed for decades and didn't drive, so the little things in life that I took for granted were much bigger issues for her. One day I was looking out the window and saw that her gutter had broken and was on the ground. I walked over to take a look and figured out that it was just a broken bracket. When I told her that John and I would fix it as soon as we could, she started to cry. It seemed to be a combination of frustration at things falling apart and gratitude. Josie said, "You think your life is going along fine, and then boom, your gutter bracket breaks." John and I still say this when something happens that may not be major, but sure feels like it at the time. Yesterday morning it felt like my gutter bracket broke. 

(Photo: Colorado Department of Transportation)

I got a call from Ryan at 7:00 am, which meant it was 5:00 am for him in Colorado. Right away I knew that something was wrong. It turns out he had had an accident but assured me that he was fine. He had just taken an Uber home from the hospital and wanted to reiterate that he was fine. Sunday night he picked up a friend from the Denver airport and drove her to her apartment in Laramie when her flight got canceled due to high winds. On his way back to Fort Collins it was snowing, he lost traction, ran into the bank and flipped his car onto the driver's side. He's okay but has bruises and stitches and his car may be totaled. So I might be visiting Fort Collins again soon to help him out and shop for a car. 

I'm writing this several hours and several texts with Ryan later so I have had time to calm down and feel less shaky. I'm mainly feeling some sort of maternal guilt that I'm not there to make him grilled cheese and tomato soup and that I'm not there when my son is hurt. I've had a lovely offer of help from a kind Fort Collins knitter. Ryan says he doesn't need help, but "I'll most likely muddle through" is not 100% reassuring to me. I am so incredibly grateful that Ryan is basically okay and the accident wasn't much worse. I'm thankful that my metaphorical gutter bracket will be fine. 

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We don't have a specific Read With Us post today, but this is just a reminder that we are reading Just Mercy and will start discussing the book on Tuesday, November 5th. I know that several of you are waiting for the book from the library, but hopefully, you'll be able to read the first third of the book and join the first discussion on Kym's blog


17 comments:

  1. Oh, Bonny. It must be very hard to be far away from your son when something like this happens. Hannah is so close by that it's not something I really think about so I'm sending you lots of love and grace today. You are a good mom and Ryan is lucky to have you!

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  2. Sending love and hugs to you and Ryan ... I'm glad he's ok. But nothing takes at the place of actually seeing ... I do hope you get to lay eyes on soon!!

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  3. Oh,Bonny! I know exactly how you feel to be so very far away when your kids need you (whether they know they do or not!) I am sending you all the calming, nerves of steel vibes and I am so thankful that it was not worse for Ryan. Much love - to both of you! XO

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  4. It's so tough when the kids are far away!! Love to you both (all!)!

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  5. Oh no! I'm glad to hear that he's not seriously injured, and I totally understand the maternal helplessness you must be feeling -- we all want to take care of our kids when something like this happens! Remember to breathe, because a completely stressed-out mom isn't any good to Ryan, and keep us posted.

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  6. Scary, but great to get scared after you find out all is "basically" well. My mother always fixed me tomato soup and grilled cheese when I was sick, and your remarks about that made me want to cry. Now I make myself the same, and I can feel the love from her whenever I do it. I bet Ryan can feel the love over the phone as well. Sounds like this was definitely a broken gutter bracket moment, and all shall be well when the details are all worked out.

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  7. It is SO hard when we live far from our kids and they run into a "broken gutter bracket". Glad that he is okay for the most part and hope you'll be okay too.

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  8. Oh, Bonny! Not a phone call you want to get, for sure! I hope Ryan is healing well -- and that you can get out there again to see that for yourself. There is nothing like a "broken gutter bracket" to give us a bit of perspective. Much love to you -- and to Ryan! XOXO

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  9. It's the 'split second' things that disrupt life the most. Glad he is fine (okay?). Safe travels for you.

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    1. You're right. One second everything is okay, but not so well the next second. It could have been much worse but I'm very glad that it wasn't. Thank you!

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  10. Whoa! We lived in Cheyenne for a time and I know that road between Fort Collins and Laramie - not good on snow and ice. I am glad he is doing ok. I hope he continues to heal. I can only imagine how shaky you felt when he called. Take good care.

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  11. Oh Bonny! Thank God Ryan is ok. What a scary situation and it is just SO HARD when your kids are
    FAR AWAY.

    I do love the idea of using Gutter Bracket Breaking - so thanks for that. Keeping Ryan in my thoughts - hoping his bruises are too awful and that he heals quickly. Keeping you in my thoughts as well - being a Mom is not always an easy job. Take care my friend.

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  12. I know! I know! I am holding you both in my thoughts. I had a similar situation decades ago - I was the “child” and my mom was 400+ miles away... and yes she came to make sure I was indeed OK, despite my protestations. We “both” were reassured.
    As Vera sez: gutter bracket breaking is a wonderful metaphor! Sending you strength and a “bracket.”

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  13. So good to hear that Ryan is only bruised and maybe has his pride banged up. "Muddling through" without a car is such a pain and I'm sure when ever you make it out to FC he'll be grateful you're there to help him pick up the pieces. Life just isn't a smooth road and those "broken bracket" moments can make for very tough going. It's nice to have a mom to help you with perspective and a strong shoulder.

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  14. hugs to you and thank goodness he is safe and sound. They make cars so well now!! I can see why you want to go back and see him and help him out.

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  15. So glad Ryan is doing Ok! I think our kids are more resilient then us Mom's, I always seam to be weaving a worry about one of
    my kids no matter if they live far or near. Car accident would send me over the edge. I love your analogy though!
    I'm still waiting for Just Mercy, hopefully this week or early next week. Take care of yourself and let me know if I can help in any way.

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  16. I hadn't seen this! I'm so glad Ryan is okay and I can't even imagine being that far away and getting that call. I'm also very glad that you get to go out and help with the car shopping. xo

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