Monday, January 22, 2024


I'm very late to the Barbie movie party, but I finally watched it over the weekend. It was fun, a little weird, over the top, a bit more than I expected, and had one great part that I can't stop thinking about. If you've seen the movie, you probably already guessed that it's America Ferrera's speech. 

"It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining.

You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know."

Frustration, honesty, unrealistic expectations, contradictions - this monologue had it all and said it so well. So well, in fact, that it snapped Barbie out of her depression and enabled her to see the solution to the male dominance that Ken has brought to Barbie Land. Obviously, a speech isn't going to solve all the issues in the real world, and I'm willing to bet that men might have their own version of the speech. But I hope that all of you have stopped tying yourselves in knots and have found (or maybe still finding) ways to be yourselves.

Make it a good Monday!


  1. Thank you for sharing this, Bonny. I have not seen the movie, nor do I want to see the movie, so if you had not shared this, I would have missed it! I stopped tying myself in knots many years ago, but that is only the first step. Then you have to stop worrying about what people think of you since you are not trying to please everyone. It's a no win reality! Have a wonderful Monday yourself!

  2. Like Beckster, I have not seen the movie and don't intend to, but I'm glad you shared this speech. I have not tied myself in knots in decades and wonder why it took so long to stop doing that!!

  3. I haven't seen it yet but I do want to watch it. I loved the speech!!

  4. I honestly did not expect to tear up in that movie, but this speech did it!

  5. Wow! I have not watched Barbie and have no plans to watch it, but maybe it is just what I need to finish my second pink sock! Seems appropriate! :)

  6. Being old, I had a hard time relating to the Malibu type Barbies in the movie because that's not the Barbie I knew and loved. My Barbie would have never been tied in knots over what anyone thought of her. She was too busy tying everyone else in knots. In my head my Barbie was a combination of Katherine Hepburn and Betty Davis-with a little Joan Crawford thrown in when things got dull. They ate men like Ken for breakfast.

    1. The best kind of Barbies lived in your head! (My Barbie always bossed Ken around.)

  7. I'll be watching Barbie very soon - probably this weekend. I meant to see it long before now but with the Oscar nominations coming out tomorrow, well, I'm pretty sure it's going to be on the list of Best Picture nominees. And, even though I haven't seen the movie, I've read about this speech and Hannah told me that it made her cry when she saw it because it rang so true for her. That breaks my heart, I'll tell you that.

  8. That is a powerful speech. I haven't seen the Barbie movie either but I've heard good reviews from friends. One of the things aging brings, is less tying myself into knots over what people think. It's an ongoing process though. I hope Monday is treating you well.

  9. I loved the Barbie movie. Saw it twice (once with Tom, once with my sister), and will watch it again, I'm sure. It surprised me. (But it shouldn't have, because Greta Gerwig is really good.)


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