Wednesday, March 9, 2022

Unraveled Wednesday

I'm joining Kat and the Unravelers for Unraveled Wednesday, with very little visible knitting progress. I've been trying to clean out areas in the house that I haven't yet done, and fill a box or bag for donation each day. I worked outside cleaning out flowerbeds during a couple of unseasonably warm (72 degrees!) days. But we're back to more seasonable temperatures, snow, and rain. Because of these diversions, the Hitchhiker looks like this:


There's another reason for my lack of progress, and it's mainly due to this:


I read a couple of other books, Toxic Positivity and Four Thousand Weeks, but they were just average. Then I got approval from Netgalley for a copy of In Love by Amy Bloom, and once I started reading I couldn't stop. I started yesterday evening and read until 2:30 am. I haven't done that in a very long time, but the story was just too immersive to put it down. Amy Bloom has written quite a few works of fiction, but this is a memoir of how she accompanied her husband Brian with his suicide after he is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. It's as gut-wrenching and heart-breaking as you can imagine, but it's also full of questions, love, humanity, and dignity. I haven't yet written my review, but it was a five-star book for me. 

My father was ill for at least twelve years with multiple comorbidities - heart disease, kidney disease, Type II diabetes, bladder and prostate cancer, and depression. My sister and I were the ones charged with taking him to doctor appointments and rounds of daily radiation. I'm not sure he had any quality of life, and in fact, he said he "just wanted to die" many times during those twelve years. Towards the end, I used to rant that we treated our pets better than we treated fellow humans because we were sympathetic to our pet's pain and suffering but every one of my father's twelve doctors was on a mission to preserve his life no matter what the cost (human, emotional, and financial) was to the patient. In Love is the story of how Brian Ameche and Amy Bloom met, married, and their lives together until Brian made the decision that he didn't want to suffer through a long, painful decline and how Amy Bloom and an organization called Dignitas in Switzerland helped him carry this through, told with strength and love.

What are you making and reading this week?

15 comments:

  1. Sometimes knitting diversions are just the thing... and this week's weather reprieve of warmer temps was the perfect knitting diversion!

    I just heard an interview with Amy on NPR... hmm, I might need to see if that book is still available to request.

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  2. As soon as I heard about Amy Bloom's book, I knew I'd want to read it! I'm happy to hear your impressions, and now I want to read it even more. Have you read Atul Gawande's Being Mortal? That books was a real game-changer for me . . . in my understanding of end-of-life care. I think In Love will have a similar effect on me.

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  3. PS - I really liked 4000 Weeks . . . but it coulda/shoulda been an essay, not a book! ;-)

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  4. That sounds a bit gut-wrenching, but I am sure it is a story I should read. I had quite a few disagreements with other healthcare folks about this very issue when I was still working. There are so many reasons that people use to encourage and almost force others to continue on with medical care they don't want, and it is a very sad situation when it occurs. I am going to put this on my wait list as soon as it comes to the library.

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  5. wow what a book! I don't know if I could read that while it's still winter but maybe when summer arrives? Lovely hitchhiker progress in a cheerful wonderful springlike color.

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  6. I literally just heard about Amy Bloom's book this morning and it sounds like a really powerful read. I've often had the same thought about the way we approach quality of life for pets versus people. I know we all want to keep our loved ones around as long as we can, but how are we really treating them with respect if we prolong their suffering?

    I hope your Hitchhiker can get a little attention today. If your weather is anything like ours, it will be a good day to stay inside and knit.

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  7. I just read about Amy Bloom's book on NPR and had already decided I wanted to read it but your review solidifies my decision. I know it will be difficult for me because of what we went through with my brother-in-law but I think it might actually help me to understand why he did what he did. Like Kym, I second reading Being Mortal. That book puts quality of life and end of life into a whole new perspective.

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  8. I sure wish my father-in-law had had the option to go to Switzerland. He outlived three wives. He had dementia and was confined to either bed or a wheelchair. Doctors put him through surgeries he didn't need and declined to do ones he probably needed. He once told a doctor if he had a gun he'd kill himself after spending three nights going to the ER because he fell out of his wheelchair.

    You are right. We treat our animals better.

    Glad you enjoyed the book. That is NOT an easy topic. It must have been very well written.

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  9. As usual, I'll be adding another book or three to my TBR list after reading your post!

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  10. I want to read this book too. A few years ago I read Joan Didion's Year of Magical Thinking and I think it is the best description of grief ever. This one appeals to me because the individuals involved made a true plan.

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  11. Oh wow! What a book! Not sure I could or would read it. But I agree with what everyone is saying about the way we treat human life (versus our pets)...and we all need to think about how WE would want to be treated. When my Dad fell and broke his 2nd hip at 93 he knew more than any of us that the end was near. Fortunately his orthopedic surgeon was the best and fought for my Dad's rights. When he was in the hospital they (doctors and nurses) wanted to install a feeding tube...my Dad kept say "what part of my Living Will do you not understand?" Thank God he was coherent and had one doctor who fought for his rights.

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  12. I heard about this book on NPR and it sounds very powerful, but I don't think it's right for me at this time, it's very near the anniversary of my mom's death. Perhaps later in the year would be better for me. Thanks for the great review!

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    1. It's a very personal decision at the end of any life and not necessarily something that is comfortable to read about. I think it must have been difficult for Amy Bloom to write and to discuss now during her book tour.

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  13. I thought a lot about how differently we treat human and pet lives this past week. Thank you for the review!

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  14. I am putting the Bloom book on my TBR list. I have often thought the same thing, that is, we treat our animals with more compassion than we do human beings. Being Mortal, also mentioned by Kym, is a thoughtful discussion about end of life care and issues. It is worth reading.

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