Today is the discussion day for our Read With Us fall selection, Intermezzo, by Sally Rooney. Kym, Carole,
and I are each posting a discussion question or two on our blogs today,
and you are welcome to respond in the comments. I would also encourage
you to reply to others' comments if you choose. This is a book
discussion, after all, so there are no correct answers or right
opinions. I've been looking forward to discussing this book ever since I
finished it, and I don't know of a better bunch of people for a book
discussion than all of you.
So here is my question: The relationships between Peter, Naomi, and Sylvia, and perhaps
more notably due
to their genders, Ivan and Margaret, feature a decade plus age gap. How
do you think gender and the differences in age account for the Peter and
Ivan's unacknowledged grief and how the characters relate to each
other?
(Just as a reminder, socially awkward Ivan is 22 and involved with 36 year-old Margaret. Peter is 32 and involved with 22 year-old college student Naomi and former girlfriend Sylvia who is 32 and suffers from chronic pain.)
I'll
be glad to share my thoughts about these questions tonight during our
Zoom discussion. These questions on our blogs and the Zoom discussion
are your chance to express your ideas. So what do you think? I can't wait to hear your thoughts! (And I'm counting on our discussion to give me fresh perspectives in my own thinking about this novel.)
The in-person Zoom discussion will be at 7:00 pm Eastern this evening.
If you haven't RSVP'd to Kym already you can send me an email (the
email address is in the upper right) and I will make sure you get an
invitation with the Zoom link. I hope to see you there!
As you know, I have not read the book, but looking forward to seeing you tonight!
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to seeing you tonight, too, Vera! I'd be interested to hear if you pick the book up again.
DeleteI don't have an easy answer to your question, but I do hope we discuss it today as well as how it's seen as more socially acceptable for an older man to be romantically involved with a younger woman but not the reverse.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great question, Bonny. I think Sally Rooney really hit the contrasts here out of the park! While Peter had plenty (plenty!) of issues, one of them was NOT the fact that he was involved with a woman who was a decade younger than himself, while both Ivan and Margaret (and especially Margaret) understood it was best to hide their relationship from the world. One of the things Rooney does really, really well . . . is create complex situations for her characters to "live" in.
ReplyDeletePeter did have his issues, some of them seemed related to grief, and others were just part of his personality. Both Ivan and Margaret initially had trouble with the age of the others but since Margaret was the grownup in the novel, they (or at least she) got over it.
DeleteI don't mean that it wasn't actually an issue that Peter was dating a much younger woman -- I meant that society didn't view that as an issue. (I hope that makes sense. . . )
ReplyDeleteThis is a great question Bonny! I think society expects men to be with much younger women. I mean, it is almost the norm. (I could make a very long list of men who are with much younger women. However, I could not make the same list of women with younger men... Bridget Macron is the only one who comes to mind right this instant. She is 71 and Emanuel is 48) I don't read any French news, but I am not sure that their age difference is ever a topic of conversation. Yet, if they were here... I think it is all the media would talk about most days (maybe especially on slow news days!)
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I really did not understand why the age difference was even a thing? I wondered if she knew someone who was in a similar relationship?
And I do not think that the age difference had anything to do with the grieving process. They did not pick relationships post-death, I read it as Peter and Ivan were in relationships prior to their father's death. Did I miss something?
You didn't miss anything. I'm not sure society would have judged the age gaps, but it seemed to matter to the characters. I agree that their ages didn't have much to do with grief, but gender sure did. I think Rooney had to write the story with males as the protagonists as they seem less able to confront and accept grief. The story of two sisters grieving the loss of their father would have been completely different (and I would have liked that one better I think)!
DeleteI bought the book, and it is sitting on my Kindle. I just couldn't force myself to read it now. I need more comforting reading lately. Rooney is not one my favorite authors. I fully intend to read it when I think I have the brain space to appreciate it, but now is not that time. I hope you have a wonderful discussion!
ReplyDeleteIn case I've never mentioned it . . . there's a 14 year age gap between Dale and I. LOL I feel like Margaret's concern is valid because of her own particular situation i.e. her judgmental family, I'm not sure society in general would care so much. I've been thinking about siblings and grief and there's something about losing a parent that can potentially remove a bond that siblings share. It feels like maybe the bond between Peter and Ivan was tenuous and without their father around to keep them together it's very easy for them to drift apart.
ReplyDeleteI agree; I'm not sure that society cares too much about an age gap anymore, but Peter, Ivan, and Margaret sure did. I guess it depends on the personalities and situations of the siblings when a parent dies. My sister and are close-ish but we became a bit closer after my Mother died and a bit closer again after my father. Without a matriarch or patriarch (or someone to act in that capacity) I think you're right; it is easy for a family to drift apart.
Delete