Friday, December 7, 2018

I Miss You, G'ma

I've written about my grandmother before, and because she was a wonderful woman who deserves to have her praises sung, I'm reposting this from two years ago. I miss her and think of her almost every day, but especially today, her birthday.


Today is my grandmother's birthday. It's an easy date for me to remember as she always joked that it was "a date which will live in infamy". I don't know what year the picture above was taken, but that is how I often think of her. A kind and gentle woman, but photos don't show that she was also independent, creative, and even rebellious if it meant doing what she believed was right.


Born in 1904, she became a schoolteacher as many women did then. She met my grandfather, but didn't let the fact that Ohio schoolteachers weren't allowed to be married in 1927 deter her. They ran away to West Virginia, got married in secret, and kept that secret for a year by living apart. I marvel at the courage it would have taken to defy her parents, society, and jeopardize a job she loved and needed. She told me, "It isn't fair that a woman should have to give up everything of herself when she marries."


I was the oldest grandchild of five, and while she always made me feel as if I was special, I think my sister and cousins might all say the same thing. Even though we lived more than 400 miles away, my grandparents came to visit us at least four times a year and we spent two weeks with them every summer. Those were glorious days when she taught me to knit, sew, crochet, garden, and cook. On walks through the woods she showed me how to identify trillium, bloodroot, and dig sassafras roots for a spring tonic. I'm not sure when we started calling her G'ma, but she loved it and it stuck.


G'ma was an excellent seamstress, sewing dresses for us for every occasion. This is my sister and me in new dresses, with our mouths and hands full of the licorice and gumdrops G'ma kept in the canister in the kitchen, just because she knew we loved them. Her sewing abilities extended to drapes and slip covers, almost always without a pattern, but fitting perfectly.


G'ma excelled at traditional "women's work", but didn't think twice about doing "men's work", too. This is the cabin that she and my grandfather built, and the outhouse that she dug a six-foot deep pit for. I wish I had a photo of the wood-burning stove inside where she cooked meals, and baked bread and cakes, after she had chopped wood for it.


Because I know how much G'ma loved me and appreciate everything she taught me, I think of her almost every day. Sometimes it's when I'm making dinner (city chicken because cubes of pork and veal on skewers used to be cheaper than chicken). Other times it's when I'm thinking about taking some half-assed shortcut and hearing G'ma's voice saying, "That's not how we do things, Bonny!" But it's always with love because I would not be the person I am without G'ma.

18 comments:

  1. No wonder you think of G'Ma daily Bonny - she sounds like such a wonderful person. What a beautiful tribute to her. Thanks for sharing - I'm glad you posted this again as I had not seen the post 2 years ago. What a pretty smile!

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  2. What a wonderful tribute. She sounds like a wonderful person and a woman ahead of her time!

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  3. What a lovely tribute to a very special lady.

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  4. What a beautiful tribute! And, I agree with her... it is NOT fair that women have to give up everything of herself ever! I think your G'ma and my Nana would have been the best of friends! They were so much alike!

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  5. Women of the era seem to be so strong, often ahead of their time and willing to work like horses when needed. Your G'ma was certainly one of them. My maternal grandmother was much like yours and we're very lucky to have had women like them as role models.

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  6. This is a lovely memory, and you are lucky to have it! I did not have a grandmother as a role model, and I feel like I missed something quite valuable. It's wonderful that she had just a big impact that you still think of her so often.

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  7. What a lovely tribute to your grandmother! My grandmothers were like yours in many ways and I think we are fortunate to have grown up with their wisdom and love.

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    1. Thank you, Debbie! I'm sure that many people think that their grandmother was special and they would be right, but I'm glad I got to know just how special G'ma was and thank her every day for teaching me so much. We were indeed very lucky.

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  8. What a wonderful tribute to your G'ma! I had a pretty spectacular one myself and am so sorry I didn't pay more attention to her baking secrets. So many delicious things never to be had again. But great memories live on! Happy Birthday G'ma!

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  9. This is such a loving post. She sounds like an amazing woman. I had no idea there was a no married law for teachers in the 1920s. i am so so heartwarmed that you only saw her a few times a year and she occupies such a huge part of your heart.

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    1. Thank you, Kathy! It makes me very glad that you can see how important she was in my life even though she wasn't there every day. She does occupy a big part of my heart and that's exactly what I wanted to convey!

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  10. I think it's fabulous that you have such vivid and wonderful memories of you G'ma!

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  11. Beautiful, Bonny! from the comments I think a few of us wish we could've known our grandmas as "real" adults. (them AND us). maybe someday ....

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  12. Wonderful tribute to your grandmother. You have so many dear memories. I love the photo of her dolled up in her orange skirt and cardigan. Thanks for telling her story. I love connections between generations and yours to her was special.

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  13. Your G'ma is just The Best! I got sort of cheated in the grandparent department. . . (my mom's parents were both dead before I was born, and my dad's? let's just say his mother earned her "Dragon Lady" nickname). . . so your G'ma is just what I always imagined a "real" grandma would be. Here's to your happy memories of a wonderful G'ma. XOXO

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  14. Beautiful!! My grandma's birthday is coming up on Christmas Eve... and I feel exactly the same about her as you do about G'ma!! Special women.

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  15. Lovely post! It's so sweet to see photos of your grandma! Great memories!

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