For the August installation of The Museum of Me, we're opening the portrait gallery. It's not a large wing of the museum; it only contains one portrait. Kym's suggested topic for this month is a photo from your childhood that most captures the YOU of today.
Except this photo captures the ME I'd like to be today. It's an old 3x5 black and white photo that I found while going through things we cleaned out after my mother died. It was dog-eared and water-stained, so I had a copy made and restored as much as possible. The copy doesn't look much better than the original, but I can see things in this photograph that may not be evident to the casual viewer. I see a five-year-old girl who was pretty happy with her world. I was attending a sort of casual kindergarten program at the local Y and my mother and I had just shopped for the best napping rug. It was gorgeous shades of blue and purple and I can even recall playing with the fringe while trying to fall asleep. Why we needed to nap during a three-hour program remains a mystery, but I had the best rug. I was sure that everyone else was envious of me and my rug.
Even though it's a black and white photo, I see the lovely yellow and white gingham pinafore that my grandmother made for me and the white blouse that fit perfectly. There was a yellow, blue, and pink border around the bottom, and it was one of my favorite outfits ever. It just felt good and I can still remember how happy and confident I felt while wearing it.
I remember one of our elderly neighbors calling me Suzy Sunshine, especially when I was wearing this yellow pinafore. She said my smile brightened her day and she liked to chant jump rope rhymes along with me when I was playing on the sidewalk. I felt strong, confident, and full of fun.
Not much of the above describes the me of today. I'm 60 years older, have been through a pandemic, have responsibilities, health issues, aches and pains, concerns for my kids, and money worries. I don't always feel comfortable in my clothing and don't feel strong, confident, and full of fun. But I'd like to think that that smiling five-year-old in a sunny yellow gingham pinafore and a sunny disposition is still somewhere inside. I just have to figure out how to let Suzy Sunshine out a little bit more, have a little bit more fun, and show the strength and confidence I felt so many years ago.
We'll be back on the second Friday of September with a brand new installation. Thank you for visiting The Museum of Me!
Beautifully said, Bonny! I do think young Bonny was so adorable, but I really appreciate 62 year old Bonny... who is wise, kind, and caring. She is an avid reader who inspires others to read. She is a maker of beautiful things. That is the Bonny I am glad to know... is is real and so very wonderful!
ReplyDeleteI second those thoughts!
DeleteLovely memory. Suzy Sunshine is still in there, but she coexists with Older-and-Wiser Bonny (who knows how to knit - I bet Suzy didn't!). Why don't you low-key seek a yellow gingham blouse that will make you think of all the Bonnys when you wear it?
ReplyDeleteYou have the same smile now that you had at five, so Suzy Sunshine is still in there, though maybe she doesn't come out as often!
ReplyDeleteI think that sweet little girl is still in the Bonny of today and shows herself through being kind, caring, creative, and wise. I agree with Sarah, you still have that same smile!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your very kind words, Debbie! (They made me smile and I felt a little bit of Suzy Sunshine returning!)
DeleteYou were a perfect 10! So cute! My mother made all my clothes, and I can still remember most of them. She let me pick out material and patterns when she could. I am an old lady, so I completely understand the loss of enthusiasm, naivete, and confidence that came with a brand new healthy body bereft of wisdom or experience. It was grand while it lasted, wasn't it? I have been trying to remember that all the qualities that I now have are helping me and mine traverse the very treacherous nature of aging while being burdened with adult responsibilities and a chaotic world. It was probably a good trade-off, but like you, I miss being able to do just about anything and not pay a physical price or think about consequences, like where my next meal was coming from - LOL. I find your attitude full of sunshine most of the time, so I know you still have that quality in you. Do something that makes you feel young this weekend.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful picture Bonny - too, too cute. I would recognize that smile anywhere - I've met you "in real life" and seen that smile and also on Zoom calls! There are certainly days when I miss my young self, but at the same time I feel wiser in so many ways. I don't remember needing a nap rug in kindergarten, but I sure would have loved it if we had them at work (when I was going to the office) - LOL
ReplyDeleteWhat an adorable photo! I agree with others... your smile is the same! I remember plastic nap mats. Do kids even nap in all-day kindergarten nowadays??
ReplyDeleteWhat a darling photo of you. Your smile is still the same. Isn't it amazing, the details we remember. The cares of the world do weigh on our shoulders these days. I agree with Debbie. Your kindness, sense of humor, and creative spirit do credit to Suzy Sunshine. Maybe she is a little older and wiser.
ReplyDeleteOkay, Suzy Sunshine! Please come out and play a little bit more often! (And I think the suggestion of a yellow gingham something-to-wear is a perfect suggestion.) One of my favorite quotes is this one from Madeleine L'Engle . . . "The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been." Madeleine is absolutely right, you know. Suzy Sunshine, age 5, is still THERE. Let's find her again and let her loose! (How long since you've tried to jump rope, by the way?)
ReplyDelete(My own Museum of Me exhibit had to be delayed by Tom's emergency beer spill on his laptop. We had to scramble to get out of the cottage and over to an Apple Genius Bar - which is nowhere near where we were up north OR near home. What a day. . . )
beautiful beautiful post! I love the photo of you smiling brightly and your reflections - time goes so fast and time goes so slowly. It seems like yesterday I was a young girl and then it seems like forever ago!
ReplyDeleteWhat a cute photograph and I can totally see the Bonny of today in your smile! I agree with Kym's assessment, Suzy Sunshine is still there!
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite things about reading later is that I get to enjoy the comments, too - and I have to say I'm in full agreement about your smile ... and about you still being that little girl you were. Also, I think a bit of yellow gingham (or a napmat - afghan? - in blues and purples with fringe?) might be a wonderful addition to your life today!
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