We should read the classics.
We should read the prize winners.
We should finally tackle that intimidating novel everyone else seems to have read in college.
We should read serious books, educational books, important books.
We should read book series in order.
We should keep up with best sellers.
We should always have an audiobook going while we fold laundry, commute, exercise, or walk the dog.
We should finish every book we start.
At some point, reading can begin to feel less like pleasure and more like homework with no due date.
One of the things we hope to do in the Read With Us Lounge this summer is gently question those “shoulds.” Not because classics or award winners or ambitious reading goals are bad (they absolutely aren’t) but because reading is deeply personal, and our reading lives change over time. The books that nourish us at one stage of life may not be the books we need at another.
Sometimes the most meaningful reading experience comes from picking up the exact “wrong” book at the exact right moment.
Maybe you discover that you actually prefer reading contemporary romance to literary fiction. Maybe you abandon a 600-page masterpiece halfway through and feel relieved instead of guilty. Maybe you read children’s books for comfort, reread old favorites from your teenage years, or spend an entire summer immersed in mysteries, cookbooks, essays, graphic novels, or cozy fantasy. Maybe you decide silence is better than forcing yourself to listen to audiobooks just because everyone else seems to multitask their reading.
Challenging our reading “shoulds” can feel surprisingly uncomfortable at first. Many of us learned early on that some books were “good for us” while others were considered fluff, escapism, or a waste of time. But joy matters. Curiosity matters. Rest matters. Reading for delight matters.
And often, when we let go of obligation, something unexpected happens: we read more honestly. We become more adventurous. We notice our real tastes instead of the tastes we think we’re supposed to have. We stop performing as readers and start becoming ourselves again.
That doesn’t mean abandoning challenging books forever. Sometimes we truly want to wrestle with a classic or work our way through a demanding nonfiction title. But there’s a difference between choosing a difficult book because we’re interested in it and forcing ourselves through it out of guilt or fear of not being “well read.”
This summer, consider asking yourself:
What reading “shoulds” have shaped my reading life?
Which ones actually enrich my reading experience?
Which ones make reading feel stressful, competitive, or performative?
What kinds of books do I secretly love?
What would happen if I gave myself full permission to read exactly what I want?
Maybe the answer is that you really do love classics. Maybe the answer is dragon-filled fantasy novels, celebrity memoirs, nature writing, romance, rereading childhood favorites, or checking out giant stacks of random library books with no plan whatsoever.
All of it counts.
I'll start by admitting that I have occasionally chosen a book to read because it seems like everyone is reading it, and I don't want to miss out. The latest example of this is The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion. I checked out the first four volumes from hoopla and happily started listening. Over the course of a week, I thought that maybe I was just more interested in other books and returned them. I tried twice more to listen to Volume I, and have finally decided these are just not for me. All telling, no showing, and just too much forced whimsy. I finally admitted that these books are just not for me at this time. I felt quite a sense of relief when I gave myself permission to stop trying and move on.
Be sure and check with Kym and Carole for their take on reading "shoulds".
So tell us: What “shoulds” do you carry around reading? Have you challenged any of them? And when you do, are you happier as a reader? We would love to know!
Oh, AMEN, sister! Two things pop up immediately . . . when I think of successfully tackling my own reading-shoulds. The first was NOT participating in Summer Book Bingo back when that was a thing. Although designed as a fun way to approach summer reading - and something many people loved, I know - it was just not for me. I ended up miserable those couple of years I did participate because I was trying to fit my round pegs (the books I wanted to read) into the square holes of my bingo card. I felt much better just watching from the sidelines. And the second thing was NOT setting an annual Goodreads "reading goal." Although I'm sure it inspires a lot of people to challenge themselves by reading more, It just felt . . . competitive in a meaningless way to me, and I'm much better off not "counting" how many books I read.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many structures "built" to make us feel bad or "less than" about the books we choose to read. It's nice to focus on reading for pleasure instead of reading because . . . we SHOULD.
My main should is reading all the books I've bought and are sitting there to be read. I have found that I do like fantasy books which is a big surprise for me.
ReplyDeleteI feel pretty lucky in that really the only time I've felt like I "should" read a certain thing was back when I was in school and had to read certain books for class. I did enjoy many of them anyway, but I've always followed my own rules for reading for pleasure. One thing I still struggle with is DNFing a book I'm not enjoying. I've done it a few times, but most of the time I have this hope that things will magically improve at the end. It's rare that that actually happens, but often I'm glad I finished instead of abandoning. I know that I'm not an average reader -- I like books that are long and hard, and I tend to be a little judgey about the writing because of my profession. I firmly believe that I should read books that I enjoy and that's about it!
ReplyDeleteI am nodding along with many of these Bonny. Like Kym, I stepped away from setting a Goodreads challenge a couple of years ago... a small step that made a big impact on my reading. Reading to "hit a number" is not enjoyable. Likewise, I no longer feel the "should finish" a book. If, after 100 pages or so, a book has not pulled me in... it likely won't and I put it down and move on. It's not like there is a shortage of books after all!
ReplyDeleteI gave up setting a "real" goal on Goodreads a few years ago. Now I set a really low goal that is mainly to remind me to log the books I have read. I like to keep up with what I have read for future reference. I never finish a book that doesn't engage me. Not enough years left for reading not to be finicky. I am very cautious about recommendations, and I quit reading recommendations made by professional critics. I think they are influenced by the publishing industry even if they don't realize it. I no longer read books that are on the awards lists. I have read maybe one book off one of those lists that I really enjoyed. I don't join book clubs, I like to pick my own books. I lost most of my reading "shoulds" in graduate school. I was forced to read so many research tomes that were long slogs. One should I have not given up is feeling that I must finish books that Net Galley sends me. I have begun to be very selective about what I request from them. I don't enjoy the deadlines they impose. Having said all that, I find that there is no genre that I refuse to read if it interests me. I am mainly driven by curiosity in most things.
ReplyDeleteI've always read whatever I wanted to read. No "should" for this girl. I've tried some longer books (i.e. Proust) that Colin suggested, but just could not get into them. I'm not a fan of fantasy or sci-fi, but otherwise I pretty much like everything. For a few years I did the book bingo thing and enjoyed it, but when it began to feel like school, I quit. And definitely no goals for me. I'm not on GoodReads (like I'm not on FB or IG). There are lots of un-read books on my shelves that perhaps I "should" read, but no pressure and new ones keep coming to me from my library!
ReplyDeleteI feel you should never do anything that makes you feel obligated about your reading (IMO). I love learning as I read, I love reading long, leisurely books, I love a wee challenge I can meet, and reading hard books that make me slow down and pay attention. I love a book in my ear when I can't sit (like walking the dog or doing laundry). I love that I can read what I want when I want and that there are SO many books I want to read. Thank you for reminding me that reading isn't an obligation, it's a joy!
ReplyDeletePS. I am me, not anonymous. :)
DeleteMy biggest should is that I should enjoy some of the weirder literary fiction books. You know, some of those on the Man Booker of Women's Prize that are just . . . out there. I feel like I should love them because of the prize cycle but sometimes it's just a struggle and I want to give myself permission to ignore them if they don't appeal to me.
ReplyDeleteI have 320 books in my Audible library and there are only a handful that I truly enjoyed listening to. I fall victim to the "shoulds" much too often.
ReplyDeleteLast summer I read a fraction of the recommended books for a Marjory Allingham knit-along. The knitting turned out to be a "should" in a bad way. But going back to those old mystery novels was such a pleasure. And taking just a sample was a perfect choice.
ReplyDeleteI don't set reading goals for a certain number of books or for types of books. My only goal is to read books that I enjoy, and I enjoy a variety of books from different genres. Sometimes I enjoy more serious books and other times i'm in the mood for something light and entertaining. It is all good!
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