Hello and welcome to the Museum of Me. It's the second Friday in November and time for a new installment. This month we ask the important question: What words or expressions from your childhood still echo in your head?
There are some months when I have to spend quite a bit of time mulling over the Museum of Me prompt and carefully crafting my answer. This month is not one of those. As soon as I read it, I knew exactly what expression I would write about.
My mother used some of the standard maternal phrases during my childhood:
- If you keep making that face, it'll freeze that way.
- I'm cold; you should put on a sweater.
- Because I said so, that's why!
- Quiet down, I can't even hear myself think.
Sometime during elementary school, the school nurse made visits to our classrooms and told us how unhealthy smoking was and why we should never start. If our parents smoked, we should tell them how unhealthy and dangerous smoking was and try to convince them to stop. So I did just that. I was young enough that I didn't fully understand and was convinced that my parents would die in just a few days. I remember a conversation at the dinner table where I presented my reasons why they should stop smoking and I even remember crying. My father just said, "Do as I say, not as I do." and that was the end of the conversation.
So how about you? I'd love to hear about what words or expressions you still remember from your childhood. Words spoken when children are young matter, long into old age! We'll be back on the second Friday of December with a brand-new installation. Thank you for visiting The Museum of Me!
That phrase is certainly a frustrating one, but now that I'm a parent, I understand the desire for my child to do better than I have in some aspects of my life. I'm sure your parents would have given up smoking if it had been easy; by now, we all know how addictive it is. I don't recall hearing "Do as I say, not as I do" specifically from my parents growing up, but I was certainly aware of it, and I'd like to think I'm more intentional about using what I do as an example for my daughter rather than what I say (or, rather, I want to say something and also follow through and do it).
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I remember hearing the most from my parents growing up was from my father, in response to saying "hey" -- he'd always respond "Hay is for horses!" I can confidently say I have never used that line!
Your parents might have been a bit wiser than mine... they never used the phrase "do as I say, not as I do." The phrase that I remember being used regularly in my house... Slower than molasses in January... which I really never could figure out because it seemed to me to be slow year around, lol.
ReplyDelete'quit crying' (which never worked, I cried harder) If wishes were horses beggars would ride, do you want something to cry about (again more tears)
ReplyDeleteMy mom used to say (WAY too often) . . . "If wishes were horses we'd go for a ride." I never really could figure out what that meant as a child, but I did know it meant I wasn't getting whatever I was asking for! XO
ReplyDeleteMy mother said, "if wishes were horses, beggars would ride." I think my mother was more accurate than yours! LOL
DeleteSmoking really was so prevalent back in the day. My Dad never smoked, but my Mom did...though she limited where she smoked to mostly the kitchen by the exhaust fan! I can't remember any particular phrases that my parents said...maybe I never listened?? LOL
ReplyDeleteI distinctly remember sitting on my dad's lap and begging him to quit smoking a pipe because I didn't want him to die... and he quit. This would have been the early 1970s. And I loathe it when my boss says "do as I say, not as I do" because I firmly believe that actions speak louder than words!!!
ReplyDeleteOne of my mom's most frequent sayings was "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." It taught me to be seen and not heard, and never to criticize (which was interpreted as "talking back" and punished accordingly). There can be a negative element of judgement, but also a critical analysis element, and I regret squashing the development of that in my earlier years.
I don't think it's silly to be proud of that fact -- AT ALL!! Oh, the smokers... my dad smoked it all (well, maybe not ALL) -- cigarettes, cigars, pipes. He eventually quit, after MANY years, but it had absolutely nothing with any of our feelings. My kids all hounded me about smoking, none quite as much as Madeleine, and it did eventually sink in.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your mom's groovy blouse!!
Ashtrays! They were such an important design element in any room. The bigger and gaudier the better. I can't write what I remember my mother saying. She was 16 when I was born and had 3 kids before she was 21. She was every bit the wild teen and had a mouth to match. She would have made George Carlin blush.
ReplyDeleteMy mom was never without a cigarette hanging from her lips and as she lay in a coma dying from leukemia at 66 the doctors remarked at how strong her lungs were in her final hours. We all looked at each other and laughed and laughed...
Your mother sounds like an amazing woman! I'm trying to imagine having three kids within years and all before she was 21. I had my first son when I was 34 and my second when I was 36, and those two were enough for me. And yes, ashtrays were important design elements and when there weren't any ashtrays available, my parents used saucers, jar lids, or whatever was at hand.
DeleteOne of the comments my brothers and I still laugh about was my father babysitting us (mom was at work) and he was feeding us lunch. We were all grade school or younger (4 of us) and you can imagine we were probably rambunctious. Well at some point he said something like be quiet or "I'll give you a pauch." (I still have not idea how to spell that so I just go with the best sound.) My brother Jim in all honesty asked, "What's a pauch?" SLAP. We all got quiet and quickly eating. It's funny to us now and we can all look at each other and go, "What's a pauch?"
ReplyDeleteAs to the smoking. Yes, it was prevalent, but somehow my parents never got started. One other story that was told, was when they were dating my mom had brought along one of the packages of 'candy' cigarettes and they were driving somewhere and she just pulled it out casually and pulled one out. She said my dad did the fastest double take she had ever seen. I think my brothers may have 'tried' smoking a time or two but never did get hooked. I credit that to the fact we did not have the pattern for doing so in front of us. Just lucky.
I do wonder what a "pauch" is, but if it helped quiet down four kids that's a good thing!
DeleteI had forgotten about candy cigarettes. My sister and I used to love them and ask each other if we looked cool smoking them!
My parents smoked, too, and so did my grandmother. Ashtrays were a décor item in those days! I agree with Vicki, I don't think it's silly at all to be proud of not using phrases on your kids that bothered you as a child. Great museum exhibit this month!
ReplyDeleteMy father was pretty easy going about most things except if he thought we were being disrespectful of another person, he did not tolerate that. He would say "You don't know what life is like for that person, you don't walk in their shoes." The other thing I remember is when my mother would be cooking dinner was a time that my three younger brothers would go wild. My father would be sitting in his chair reading the paper. My mother would say "Bill, make those boys stop!". He would fold the paper down and say "Settle down kids, silence in golden." They would all look at him and then go right back at it!
ReplyDeleteI think your father was understanding and empathetic early on. Some people express that same sympathy now, but we could all use your father's wise reminder more often.
DeleteI used to call that time when I was making dinner "the witching hour" as it seemed my sons also chose that time to go wild. They also looked at me and usually went right back at it.
That's a great museum exhibit, Bonny! Not only did you never repeat that hated phrase, I know you didn't "model" smoking either. My parents were both smokers when I was growing up and it seems absolutely crazy to me now that it seemed "normal". I can only imagine how awful we all must've smelled, and our house?!! (not to mention the health issues. geez). They both eventually quit, but not until I was grown and out of the house.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great exhibit Bonny. And you should be proud of not repeating "Do as I say, not as I do" to your boys. My Dad was fond of reminding us that "money doesn't grow on trees." He would say this when we asked for the latest "in" thing and he didn't think it was necessary. In his day, long distance phone calls were an added expense so he'd say, " No news is good news," which meant don't make unnecessary calls. That one drove my Mom crazy as she wanted to know when my siblings and I arrived safely at our destinations. My Mom would often say, "those who would keep love should not keep score." Good advice.
ReplyDelete