Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Why: An April Update


I didn't have much to say about my word this month, but I remedied that in an afternoon yesterday. Kat mentioned listening to Brené Brown's The Power of Vulnerability and found it so helpful that she listened to it twice. I'm not much for what I view as self-help books, and I've always discounted Brené Brown. For some reason, I found her irritating and preachy, with simplistic claims that seemed like pop psychology to me. I've only ever listened to five minutes of one of her TED talks, so I had to ask myself why was I so against her?

A good place to start answering my own question was by downloading The Power of Vulnerability from Hoopla and listening to what Dr. Brené Brown had to say. And while I can't say I'm a complete convert, at least I'm no longer judging without any basis. I think that what I objected to most was that although she is a research professor at the University of Houston, her research seems so based on qualitative anecdotes. I think that she may be discounting the social, cultural, and economic factors that are important in so many lives, and offering easy solutions filled with jargon and buzzwords.

But while all that may still be true, I am willing to admit that she may be onto something. I have certainly felt shame and understand the feeling of not being enough. If her teachings give someone some hope, some glimmers of self-awareness, and a new way to look at things, those are not bad things. 

“No one reaches out to you for compassion or empathy so you can teach them how to behave better. They reach out to us because they believe in our capacity to know our darkness well enough to sit in the dark with them.” (We could all practice this!)

I may even listen to more of her books (she does tell good stories and she's relatively easy to listen to) and I might become a convert someday. It might not be soon, but at least I'm no longer guilty of making a snobby judgment of something I know nothing about. Asking why is a good thing and you might even learn a thing or two!


5 comments:

  1. I'll admit here that I've never read any of her books and have also given her a bit of a side-eye; I know a lot of people love her, but I have the same sorts of feelings about self-help. Thanks to your post, though, I went to look her up and learn more about her, and I didn't realize that her background is in social work! I think that helps me think about her in a more positive way, and I'm certainly willing to give her books a chance.

    I think your first OLW is turning out to be really good for you!

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  2. Ha...I'm on the same bandwagon as you and Sarah with "BB." And, like you two I've never read her books and I'm not sure why I have that attitude. I agree that your OLW is turning out to be a good one for you (and I love your OWL picture!).

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  3. I very much admire Brené Brown and what she has to say (and usually HOW she says it, too). That said, I think it's always good to go into anything with a questioning mind. And research for any of the "soft sciences" is so tricky . . . because measuring actual results is so up for interpretation. Anyway . . . good for you for asking WHY . . . and being open-minded enough to dig a little deeper.

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  4. I like this why! Why with an open mind... even better! (Most of my whys are of the closed minded variety... like: why are you doing that, why did you say that, why do you think I would want to do that... )

    Thank you for providing another option for my whys! :)

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  5. I tried listening to one of her books -- most of my listening time is while driving -- and was fine on my short work commute but on a longer drive, she put me to sleep! I had to pull over and take a nap both to and fro. Of course, your "mileage" may vary! ;)

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