My mother-in-law Sylvia was a wonderful cook. She didn't prepare fancy or complicated food, but she cooked and baked for a family of seven when John was growing up. She made dinner every night at 5:30 pm, baked bread for the family several times a week, and I could almost always count on finding some homemade "goodies" (cookies, cake, or pie) in the kitchen when I visited. I'll admit that I often took her cooking for granted, assuming she would prepare a delicious, filling meal if I was eating at her house. She rarely wanted any help in the kitchen, but eventually, she agreed to let me wash the dishes while she dried. We had lovely conversations while cleaning up after she fed all of us.
Her pie crust was the best I've ever had, light and flaky, and even though I watched her make it numerous times, my pie crust has never come close to hers.
When I had Ryan, she came over to visit when I got home from the hospital and asked if I needed any help. I said, "No, thank you; I need to figure out this motherhood thing," and she respected that. As a mother of five, she probably thought that one child was a piece of cake, but she just said she'd be back in a couple of days. When she returned the next week, she brought with her the best gifts I've ever received - food she had prepared when I was feeling so overwhelmed I could barely manage to brush my teeth. She brought macaroni & cheese, assorted casseroles, meatloaf, and even my favorite chocolate cake. She continued this for about three weeks, and I told her then and for many years afterward how grateful I was to receive such wonderful gifts. It was exactly what I needed at the time, it made me feel loved and helped me get a handle on how to be a mother (with a demanding baby that never slept).
She did the same thing when Justin was born, and I needed it just as much then because Ryan was an active two-year-old. If I'm a halfway-decent mother, I think I owe much of that to the example my mother-in-law set and the great start she gave me with her generous gifts.
About 15 years later, I was in a position to give back some of the amazing gifts I had received. John's father was diagnosed with diabetes, and metastatic prostate cancer, and required heart surgery. Sylvia was feeling completely overwhelmed by his care, but she said she didn't need any help. I remembered what a difference her gifts of food had made to me, and I tried to give her gifts in kind. I prepared casseroles, meatloaf, chipped beef, Salisbury steak, and some casseroles. Often I would just drop food off in the refrigerator or freezer and leave her a note because she was at the hospital with my father-in-law. This gave us a good "Grandmom story" when she offered my brother-in-law a piece of pound cake, and they were both disappointed when the hoped-for pound cake turned out to be a meatloaf I had put in the freezer.
So how about you? I'd love to hear about the best gift you've ever received or given. We'll be back on the second Friday of January with a brand-new installation. Thank you for visiting The Museum of Me and reading about wondrous gifts received and given!
I love this story! I also was blessed with a wonderful mother-in-law. And I believe she taught me to be a good MIL-supportive without meddling. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteWe hear so many stories about terrible mothers-in-law, it's wonderful to hear that you had a great one. I'm hungry just thinking about all those delicious things she made for you and then you made for her!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful and wonderful story Bonny! I also love all the pictures you've included. This made me remember those early days of Colin's life when I was just so friggin' exhausted ALL the time! Speaking of that...Colin may be the best gift ever (I had a lot of trouble getting pregnant)!
ReplyDeleteThat's a lovely story, Bonny. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI, likewise, had an incredible mother-in-law. She was one of my greatest joys in life and I miss her so much!
ReplyDeleteWhat lovely memories of John's mother... she sounds like an incredible woman! And I love the meatloaf story! :)
Love this! What a lovely tribute!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dawn! She was a lovely person and deserves a lovely tribute.
DeleteAw Bonny, you have me tearing up over my morning coffee! You are so lucky to have gotten such a wonderful mother-in-law, and I'm sure she was just as lucky to be getting you as a daughter-in-law. I find it funny that in both photos in the kitchen where she's looking at the camera, she's got the same expression on her face -- I can imagine her saying, "Can't you see I'm busy cooking?!"
ReplyDeleteI am so jealous, Bonny. Because I'm one of those people who really got the short end of the stick when it comes to mothers-in-law. (Seriously short end.) What a wonderful gift to have your mother-in-law's love and presence in your life! Thanks for sharing this thoughtful tribute in your Museum of Me. XOXO
ReplyDeleteshe sounds like such a wonderful gift in your life!! God bless her :)
ReplyDeleteYour mother-in-law sounds very much like my grandmother (maternal) and the pictures remind me of her, too. She was always in the kitchen cooking something for someone. Thank you for sharing this story of a wonderful, caring and giving person who made your life better and easier. Sylvia knew how to give fully.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful woman, and such a great story!! I never knew my mother-in-law... I really can't imagine what our relationship would have been like! I would hope a fraction as good as this.
ReplyDeleteJohn's mother sounds like a lovely person and how wonderful for you to have such good memories. Reading this brought tears to my eyes and made me think of my grandmothers. Thanks for sharing, Bonny!
ReplyDeleteI was incredibly lucky in the MiL department! She was a lovely person and it makes me happy that you read this and now also know how wonderful she was!
DeleteWhat a wonderful tribute to your MIL. I do think new Mom's need fewer baby do-dad gifts and more meals. My most memorable gift was perhaps my engagement ring. I was in the middle of my graduate school program - four hours away. I drove through Lincoln, where he lived at the time and we picked it out so we could show my folks at Christmas.
ReplyDeleteLoved reading this, Bonny. I've long known your MIL was a special woman in your life ... what a wonderful gift!
ReplyDelete