Tuesday, May 8, 2018

The Whole Story

Does anyone else compose blog posts in their minds? I often do, while I'm digging in the garden, ironing, or sometimes while I'm on a walk. They are usually fairly complete, with words or phrases that I want to use, and complete with photos that I've also composed in my mind.


So in the space above, imagine a photo of John and I smiling cheerfully in front of a modest, cottage-like house located in Elkton, MD. While we're composing this imaginary picture, please feel free to add some lovely clematis vines twining on the porch supports, a nice shade tree or two, and maybe a useful mud room along with a three-season sun room. We'll add the porch swing and the rest of the landscaping later after we've lived there for a while.

I've been imagining this place since February when John learned his job was moving to Newark, DE. We're not yet old enough and definitely not financially ready to retire, so we pretty much have to move. The whole thing is complicated a bit by the fact that John's group will double in size, and he'll still need to manage people in NJ, in addition to the people in Newark, DE and Harrogate, UK. The timeline is really compressed (he needs to be in DE by Sept. 1) so our plan is to try and keep the NJ house, get a small place in DE, sell the DE and NJ houses in 3 years, retire and move to wherever (CO? MT? I can't even predict now).

I've been adding details to this picture in my mind since March when we started looking for houses in the area. I know it's a dream, and I've run face first into reality which happens to everyone looking at houses. We've been driving down to DE once or twice a week for several months, and last weekend I made three round trips (about 2.5 hrs. each way) in four days. We put an offer on a place on Fri., and then got home about midnight. We found out Sat. that the house had active termites and expensive septic issues, so we pulled that offer. We left NJ again at 6:00 am on Sunday, drove down and looked at another house, made another offer, and then figured out that the seller does not own the land that the driveway is on. John and I figured this out by finding the deed on line once we got home and working it out ourselves with our GPS coordinate drawings scattered among the sewage disposal inspection paperwork photo from yesterday. The driveway is on an undeeded right-of-way, and supposedly the seller did not know this. I find that hard to believe, but I'm not a gambler and want deeded access to any place I buy. (I know; I'm picky!)


So that's the whole story - so far. We have to relocate (in a part-time, halfway, half-assed sort of way), I really don't want to, the finances of this are keeping me up at night, but there are others in the company who have it much worse. Many are trying to decide whether and how to split up their families, careers, kids, and lives. The relocation assistance that is being offered doesn't come anywhere near keeping employees whole, and the new tax plan screws us all as far as not being able to deduct moving-related expenses.

There are some bright spots. The company's research center is on the DE/MD state line, and we could live in rural Elkton and have a 10 minute commute. I've spent quite a bit of time in the Elkton library while John has been trying to work, and it's wonderful. And banana bread beer (which surprisingly tastes very good) is readily available in the area!


If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. I think I'm done picturing this imaginary house, especially because we're going back to DE Saturday - Tuesday, and I hope to finally find something simply suitable, affordable, with a driveway, but without termites and septic problems. Fingers crossed (and a banana bread beer to celebrate if it happens)!

15 comments:

  1. Oh my - this is not at all what I imagined from yesterday's photo. According to know-it-all Google (which I had to consult since I'd never heard of the town ;-), Newark has a lot to offer "It’s known for its green spaces, like Rittenhouse Park, with its trout-filled creek. On the outskirts, White Clay Creek State Park has miles of forest trails, plus a late-1700s mansion on the estate of Judge Morris. A path circling Newark Reservoir offers city views. The University Museums at the University of Delaware include collections of art, plus the Mineralogical Museum." ... and it's 64 degrees and sunny there this morning. Sending ALL the good vibes for this "new adventure", also patience, a continued sense of humor and a BIG WARM VIRTUAL HUG!!!

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  2. Oh! Can I tell you how I feel your pain. We, too, have dealt with ALL of those issues. I hope you find just the right place for you.

    The house of your dreams is out there somewhere. Hopefully, there is one for ME out there too.

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  3. I hope all works out for you and that you find just the right place to call home. Wishing you well with your new adventure!

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  4. Wow!! That's a lot of news. My nephew (who is a physics prof at the Univ of DE) and his wife life in Landenberg (Chester County, PA) - right along the White Clay Creek that Mary mentioned in her post. That's a lovely area (though pricier than Elkton) and only 10 minutes (by bike) from the University. And, my brother and SIL relocated from Pittsburgh to Bear, DE last year (relocated because of retirement and wanting to be closer to family). They had a heck of a time finding a house. But they did! If you do end up in Elkton, you would be close to Chesapeake City (on the water) which is a very cute town and which also has a very nice yarn store (Vulcan's Rest - recently moved into a new location which I have not seen yet, but much more spacious).

    Best of luck!!!

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  5. I am sure wishing all the best to you!!

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  6. Wow, that's a LOT on your plate, my friend. It must feel really overwhelming and I hope you find the perfect house for you guys really soon. I can honestly say this isn't something I've ever had to deal with so I don't have good advice but the other comments are helpful and good and I encourage you to use the power of the knitting community to help you with this big change.

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  7. I think you are wise not to have too many expectations about your new home. Expectations generally lead me to disappointment, but when I don't have any or many, I have been surprised by what comes along. You know I am wishing you and John the best of luck in finding a good place to land. And I hope you are in store for many pleasant surprises as the journey continues.

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  8. Oh my. There is so much here to unpack! (And, pack??) Perhaps we can have a bit of a Bloggers Help Bonny Move function! And, the gardens!! Oh.no.

    I think deeded access is a necessity, as is working plumbing and septic! I am glad you are already checking out the library systems (and perhaps the yarn shops?)

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  9. Okay, the ONLY thing I could think was how much closer you’ll be to the Maryland Sheep & Wool Festival!!! By this time next year, you’ll be settled in and ready to ramble. I look forward to seeing you there!

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  10. Bonny, I am sending you ALL THE JUJUS. Having been through a few corporate-restructuring-with-relocations myself, I feel all the feels with you. I do have this to say: We are a surprisingly resilient people, and we can do anything. XOXO

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  11. good golly that is a lot going on. MY daughter and son in law live in Newark DE so maybe one day I can meet you?!?!. I know it will all work out for you - the uncertainty and the what ifs are the WORST part of any transition. Also the older I get the more rigid I am in my flexibility.

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  12. We all feel it will work out for you in the end, but as a whole, you are the one going through it all and it seems a bit overwhelming! The time to find just the right place without any of the afore mentioned issues will be time well spent. However, your life will be up in the air for awhile to come! This may be premature, but I wish I live nearby and I could be with you to pack up the kitchen while we chat (and sip tea). We'd make the best of it! BTW, I write DOZENS of detailed blog posts in my head!

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  13. Wow, wow, wow! You must have soooo much running through your head. And boy do I admire your detective work! Not a particularly great time in life to be dealing with this...but as Kym said...we are resiliant and you will do it BUT you don't have to like it! xoxo

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