Mental Health

I didn't mean to be gone for a week, but when last Monday rolled around, I found I didn't have anything to say. It was the same on Tuesday and Wednesday, and then it became much easier (and kind of a relief) to not blog. 

• Mental health is an integral part of health; indeed, there is no health without mental health.

But not blogging was a symptom of something bigger that I've been feeling for at least the past four weeks or so. I don't want to do anything. I can knit a bit, but only some F*** 2020 dishcloths. I have started three books, but can't concentrate long enough to finish any of them. John, Justin, and Ryan all have some big issues of their own that they are dealing with. I've been trying to help, but that has really only resulted in more worry on my part. I make dinner, but I'm not hungry. I have found myself drinking more than I know I should. I'm tired, but I can't sleep. I find myself not feeling much emotion at all, and it became much clearer after a conversation I had with Ryan. He was encouraging me to try a new recipe and I told him I wasn't sure what the point was. We would just eat dinner, and I'd have to do it all over again the next day. When he said, "Mom you sound like you may be suffering from depression," then I started to pay attention. 

• Mental health is more than the absence of mental disorders.

Ryan knows depression, having suffered from it pretty severely for a couple of years. I thought I knew depression, too, after learning all I could in support of Ryan. But it's tough to recognize in yourself, and it's even tougher to muster the motivation to care about it and take some sort of action when you're feeling this way.

• Mental health is a state of well-being in which an individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.

I hemmed and hawed, told myself that I have no reason to feel depressed as there are many people in much worse circumstances, thought about the difference between "normal" mental health and mental health during the pandemic, but ultimately decided that seeking some help sooner rather than later was what I needed to do (even if I was secretly hoping that the therapist I spoke with would tell me I was fine, quit whining, buck up, and get going). I did what I do best: read, researched, overthought, and sought out resources. I looked for a local therapist that I could meet with by video or phone sessions, found several, emailed them, and chose one. I've spoken to her for two sessions, and to be honest, I feel better simply because I took a positive step. Ultimately I decided that it didn't matter whether I labeled this feeling as depression or not, something was not right and I needed to try and remedy that. 

• Mental health is fundamental to our collective and individual ability as humans to think, emote, interact with each other, earn a living, and enjoy life.

Here are some resources that I found helpful, and I'm going to link to them just in case you or someone you know might benefit.

Mental Health: strengthening our response - This is from the WHO in 2018 (before coronavirus!) and is written fairly basically, but the bulleted statements above all came from this fact sheet. 

How to Get Therapy When You Can't Leave the House - Part of NPR's Life Kit, this article got me thinking seriously about options available when you can't just walk into a therapist's office.

Find a Therapist - From Psychology Today, this will help you search for a psychologist, counselor, or support group. You can filter results by teletherapy, insurance, type of disorder, type of therapy offered, and other helpful options. 

How to Protect Your Mental Health During the Coronavirus Outbreak - This list from the National Alliance on Mental Illness gave me a simple, basic, but very helpful collection of steps to follow. These may be obvious (maintain a routine, find ways to "get going", be kind to yourself, etc.) but I was not doing any of these. These eight simple things to do posted on my bathroom mirror have helped me immensely. 

Coronavirus Anxiety Workbook - This 28-page workbook from The Wellness Society is subtitled "A Tool to Help You Build Resilience During Difficult Times" and it has helped me begin to do just that. It talks about stress, anxiety, how to manage anxiety, what is within your control and outside of it, and includes many resources, practical techniques, and actions you can do to help yourself.  

I've long thought that every blog post needs a picture, but I couldn't find a good one. Then a wonderful friend clued me into Maggie Smith (the poet, not the Dame), and these felt appropriate even if they aren't exactly pretty pictures. 

I hope you keep moving.