When I changed my word to Balance back in February, I did so because I was feeling quite out of kilter with many years of caring for my father, his death, buying the house in MD, commuting back and forth between MD and NJ, and the death of my mother-in-law, but I really didn't have a clue. I know that I was feeling unbalanced and had begun to take small steps to remedy that, but then the universe stepped in with bilateral pulmonary embolisms to make sure that I was really paying attention to Balance.
I went to Colorado to visit Ryan, but also to discuss some issues and challenges that he's been having for several years. We talked and talked, he arrived at some decisions and plans to move forward, and I was feeling better about his situation than I have for several years. That felt like I had taken positive steps toward helping Ryan regain some much-needed balance. Then I got on a plane to fly back home, ended up with two PEs, and after being initially scared to death, I've begun to make balance a part of my life again.
So far, this has involved following doctors' instructions to the letter - taking medication religiously, not sitting for more than an hour without moving, and making sure that I exercise in some form for at least an hour each day. Moving is no longer a choice or something I can ignore! Some aspects of the whole experience have caused me even more stress, so I've returned to daily meditation. It feels like a lot right now, and I don't want this to take over and rule my life, but I think it's all important to incorporate healthier habits and make them an integral part of my life.
I've read slightly differing statistics, but the median seems to be that in about 40% of people who experience a PE, the first symptom is sudden death. That is an alarming number to me, and one that I've had to make a conscious decision not to focus on. I have no idea why I wasn't among that 40% or why I was lucky enough to walk around for 72 hours after it happened before I was diagnosed and treated. But I was incredibly fortunate and feel that regaining Balance is key. I'm trying.
I often read your blog, but seldom comment. Just want you to know that I'm sending thoughts for good health and much balance in your life. You are wise to focus on the positive. I'm having my own issues with a health scare and balance right now, so have a sense of where you are coming from.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your comment, Valerie, and thank you for your good thoughts. I do hope you are able to get help for your own health scare and that it makes a positive difference. Life is so much better if we are in good health, but I didn't fully comprehend that until my health scare.
DeleteI am very glad you were not among the 40%! That is a very scary number... and make me want to jump up & move! I'm also glad you're doing all the things you need to do to regain your Balance. I think you have a great attitude about it all.
ReplyDeleteYou really were lucky to be okay, and for that I am glad! Perhaps this was the universe's way of telling you that balance was the right word to focus on and that it was more about a way of living than just a way of thinking. I am happy to hear that you are getting back to normal and taking steps to stay healthy.
ReplyDeleteThat is a scary number indeed and I'm so glad you were not part of that 40%. Like Vicki, I find myself wanting to jump up and move every so often (not always possible at work, but I am making an effort). I am finding that the older I get the more important Balance is to my life (in so many ways). Glad your visit with Ryan was such a good one too.
ReplyDeleteAh, yes. Now you're, indeed . . . stepping away from the edge. XOXOXO
ReplyDeleteI'm so, So, SO glad you were in the 60% and not the 40% statistical bracket for PE. Here's to balance -- and plenty of it.
Consciously trying to include balance in your life can only be good! And I doubt that you will become lazy about it anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteLike everyone else in your life, Bonny, I am so glad you are still here! Balance in life is key, but it is a long process, achieved one small step at a time. It also requires frequent evaluation and adjustment based on the changing nature of our bodies and circumstances. Yes, you need to take your pills and remain active. Make other changes slowly. It is overwhelming, frustrating, discouraging, and stressful to attempt to change too many habits too quickly. You don't need these negative emotions in your life right now. It's a time for regeneration and celebration, the spring of Bonny. I give this unsolicited advice in the hopes that it will put a positive slant on your new circumstances. I am so glad that you were able to help Ryan, and hope that you are here for a long time to do that for the people you love, so take care of yourself. It's the ultimate gift to others who need you.
ReplyDeleteWow. I am so glad that you weren't in the 40% and like you said sort of frightened by such a high number! You will succeed in establishing the right balance and live a long happy life. I am also so happy that you were able to go to see Ryan and be there for him. That certainly does a mother good. xo
ReplyDeleteGood for you! You had so much stress going on for so long. It is very hard on your mind and body. We are all rooting for you here in blogland. Im so glad you had a great constructive discussion in Colo. with Ryan. I agree with Patty, you will establish a new routine and it won't even feel like a PRESCRIPTION after a bit. I hope so anyway
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kathy! I'm not terrific at remembering things, so I have my phone alarm set for 8 am and 8 pm to remind me to take my Eliquis. Maybe by the end of the month it won't feel like a prescription and just something I automatically do!
DeleteI join this chorus of people who are ever so glad you were not in that 40% group! I am sending you wishes of less stress, deeper meditations, and all.the.balance! XO
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are here and that you are alive!! Thank goodness for doctors and medical intervention, I have a feeling you will be here a long time. I go to the gym so I can sit (ha ha ha ha). Mine is the back issues and RA.
ReplyDeleteOh Bonny, I'm so glad you were part of the 60% - that is one SCARY statistic for sure! Balance came into your life at a very good time indeed. xoxo.
ReplyDeleteHabit change is challenging. A wise person once told me it is easier to change 12 things in a year if you change just one per month than to change 6 things all at one time. Sounds like exercise and movement is your focus right now and that is exactly as it should be. Sending best wishes for positive habit formation, healing, and balance!
ReplyDeleteOur bodies will get our attention one way or another and I'm so happy you survived your wake up call. Doing what is best for us and finding the routine that keeps balance and the joy of living is process, but I am very happy you are here and you're working towards finding your new path. I use phone reminders for medication, too, and I like my iWatch (some use Fitbits) to remind me to keep moving and to monitor my steps and exercise for the day. Technology is a boon to those of us who want to stay on the healthy side. Here's to finding your footing! xo
ReplyDeleteThat IS a scary statistic and I'm so glad you beat the odds on that one. I guess a wake up call is something we can all use now and again, I'm proud of the way you are handling yours.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you were not in that 40%. And now I am going to pay attention when my Apple watch tells me to STAND UP!
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