Friday Letters

I haven't written any Friday Letters for ages, but I do have a few this week to say what's on my mind, wonder about things, and take the opportunity to offer a thank you. Let's open the mail ...

Dear Fort Duncan Hospital ER,

Thank you very much for stitching Justin up on Saturday night. Yes, he is expressing his creativity and artistic ideas by making his own knives, and yes, I do tell him to be careful at almost every opportunity, but accidents happen. I appreciate you making him feel as comfortable as possible and not laughing out loud at his electrical tape bandage. He told me it was the best he could do to stop the bleeding and not faint during the drive in from the ranch. As grateful as I am, I do hope he doesn't have to make any repeat visits, especially for a rattlesnake bite. 

Also, thanks to Subway. Nothing makes a 23-year-old feel better after a harrowing ordeal than a sub (or two).

P.S. We had this exchange on Wednesday, so he may indeed be back for a repeat visit (or just some super glue).

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Dear Bill,

You are a lovely person and a rank quite high as a brother-in-law, but I may have to ask you to stop enabling me with more delicious beer. Raging Bitch entertained me first with its name, 8.3% alcohol content, and interesting art work, but turned out to be simply delicious beer. You now have me stalking local liquor stores searching for it, and their Blood Orange Ale sounds equally delightful. Next time you visit and bring beer, please bring two six-packs, one for us to drink and one to leave here with me.

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To The Person Who Discarded Christmas Decorations at Walmart in September,

I don't know why this scenario affected me so much, but I have been thinking about possible explanations all week. You didn't want to make the trek across the parking lot to the Salvation Army donation bin and instead just put the decorations down by the trash can? You found them scattered in the parking lot after they fell off of a Walmart delivery truck and placed them there so the guy that collects carts while singing loudly would see them? You were forced to move out of the house after a difficult divorce and an overflowing Walmart trash bin was the best place to dispose of Christmas decorations that held painful memories? This is some sort of social science experiment and you were sitting in a car nearby to tally how many people took pictures of this odd scene? (At least one!)

On the remote chance that you are the person who did this and happen to be reading, please let me know why! 

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Wishing everyone a good weekend, free of cuts, stitches, super glue, and sad discarded Christmas ornaments!