Friday Letters

Welcome to Friday Letters, the Christmas Eve edition. I've taken my virtual fountain pen in hand to write a few thank you notes. Let's open the mail ...

Dear G'ma, Mom, and Mrs. Becker

When the kids were young, I often had days where it was hard to feel like I had been a good mother - I yelled too much, got too exasperated, or just wasn't present enough.

I did have occasional moments, like when Ryan was six months old and I finally felt like I was getting a handle on the mother thing. I thought, "I could do this again", then Justin came along. I was thrilled because I also thought, "I know how to raise a boy", but he and Ryan are complete opposites, and I had to learn how to be a mother to a different child. 

It's also tough with grown children. Being a mother is still a big part of who I am, but moments to mother can be difficult to come by, and sometimes it's hard to decide what to do when the moments do occur. Do I say, "You should do this" and offer my unsolicited advice? Are they just venting and maybe it's better if I just listen? How do I know when to get involved and when to step back?

Sometimes, parenting is equal parts patience and persistence. All of this is to say thank you to three strong women who were excellent mothers and provided me with plenty of examples of what I should do (and sometimes what I should not do) as a mother. I look to each of you several times each week and thank you immensely. I'm sorry I didn't say it when you were here to hear it. 

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Dear Covid,

You've created havoc, death, and illness throughout the world, and changed us profoundly. I remember getting my first vaccination and thinking it was a miracle. It was, but we still have a long way to go and normal is different.

You've affected me in many negative ways - missing my friends and family and fearing for them daily as many of them are essential healthcare workers or immunocompromised. But dare I say it, you have also brought a positive change or two. Most important to me is a clarification of what is really important. I always knew that family and friends, shopping for yarn, or browsing in the library were vital parts of my life. They still are, but now I think I can honestly say that I will never again take them for granted. When I think of how casually we used to get together to share a meal, a beer, or just a chat, I could almost cry. Now we are vaccinated, boosted, masked, and getting together outdoors at a distance, but you showed me how very crucial these people are in my life. I have finally simplified Christmas because of you, Covid, and while I despise you, I also thank you for the lessons learned.

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Dear Readers,

I thank you so very much for taking the time to read what I've written here, and especially for your thoughtful, humorous, and kind comments. I know you're busy, with plenty of things to do, so I appreciate you choosing to spend a few minutes with me here. I've gained so much by blogging, and this would be much less satisfying if I was just writing for myself and not making connections with you.

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The Christmas season has made me extra grateful for all that I have. I wish you peace, gratitude, good health, and your family and friends around you (in person or virtually), no matter what you may be celebrating at this time of year.